Fighting...

But Moses told the people, "Don't be afraid.  Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today... The Lord Himself will fight for you.  Just stay calm."  Exodus 13:13-14

So many times I am afraid.  Anxiety overwhelms my heart and the days of my life feel fearful.  The Egyptians had a good reason to be afraid, and so do I (sometimes...).  But, God called to them and said, "Do NOT be afraid.  Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today."  Today... right now... not tomorrow... not next week... God was going to fight for them and show His glory to them in a mighty way right then.

"The Lord is a warrior, Yahweh is His name."  Exodus 15:3 

He wants to fight for me... and He wants me to fight too.  Against fear and anxiety, against feeling overwhelmed, against failure, against lies and doubt, against throwing my hands up in defeat.  With His Word as my sword, I need to stand up and fight with Him.  This life is worth it...

And then I will be able to stand and say, "The LORD is my STRENGTH and my SONG!  He has given me victory.  He is my God and I will praise Him!"  Exodus 15:2

Day by day... moment by moment... The Lord is my strength and my song... I will not be afraid... I will have victory!

Kallan at 11 Months

11 things I love about you at 11 months...

1. Your smile can light up a room in a second... and your

    double dimples can melt my heart in an instant

2. You are always happy... you love laughing when others

     laugh... and you have a fake laugh that just cracks

     me up

3. You say "I love you" by tilting your head all the way to

    one side and smiling

4. You can say mama, and ma, and mama, and mama...

5. You have a "fast crawl" that is just too fun to watch

    (especially if you know you are in trouble)

6. You love to be standing whenever you can... and even

    better if you can stand and bounce

7. You are getting into EVERYTHING (OK - I don't love

    this) but I see your curiosity and need to explore and

    that is what is sweet to me

8. You think it is the best when I lay on the floor and you can climb all over me and pull yourself up on

    me... I can see the delight in your eyes

9. You are my blankie baby! Your brother and sister had bunnies and pacis... and you, my boy, LOVE

    your blankie!

10. You have that sweet baby skin and the soft baby hair that I just love to sink myself into

11. You are a joy in my life and have captured my heart in so many ways... I'm so thankful to God that

      He let me be your mama!

Thoughs from Psalm 23

The LORD is my Shepherd,

I HAVE ALL THAT I NEED...

He lets me rest... when life just makes me weary, when this mama has no more to give.

He renews my strength... with His love, His Word, His presence, His strength.

He guides me... when I don't know what to do, when my heart feels lost,

 when I'm wandering, when I want to give up.

He takes away my fears... He is the only One to calm my anxious heart,

when waves of fear overcome me, His Word helps me breathe again.

He protects and comforts me... He guards my life, He understands every tear that falls...

even when I don't, He longs to be my Abba Father, and hold me close to Himself.

He honors me and my cup overflows with blessings...

my life, family, friends, small joys, big blessings, lessons learned, faithfulness, renewed grace every day.

His unfailing love pursues me... when I have failed Him, when my heart wanders on its own,

when I forget Him, He is unfailing and continues after me.

The LORD is my Shepherd,

I HAVE ALL THAT I NEED.



Amazed...

Today I needed to run to Wal-mart, so since Tim was home, I just took Liam with me.  He helped push the cart around the store, and was a great helper when picking out items and loading up the cart.  We had to wait a SUPER long time in the check out lane (have I said I'm not super impressed with the Gretna Wal-mart yet?) but while we waited, we had two different people comment on how well behaved Liam was. 

I don't say those words in pride, and I don't say them lightly.  If anyone knows me, Liam, or the last year of our life, they are maybe slightly aware of the daily (some times hourly) struggles that we have had.  There have been days of sobbing, exasperation, and feelings of failure... me asking God why He thought I could raise a little boy like Liam, and using every amount of strength not to just totally give up. 

But God is working in our lives... He's working on my little boy's heart... and He's working on mine.  May I continue to trust Him when I want to give up.  May I continue to lean on Him when I don't know what the answers are.  May I be reminded that there is hope when I feel so hopeless.  God has big plans for the sweet boy He gave to me... and I'm so thankful!
 

Oh Come Let Us Adore Him...

So I'm very anti anything Christmas until after Thanksgiving is over, but since Ainsley had been begging me to find baby Jesus, I decided finding the manger set wouldn't be bad.  Besides, what mama doesn't let her child play with baby Jesus when she asks?

As I was busy going here there throughout our house trying to get things done before Kallan woke up, I stopped and froze as my eye caught a glimpse of the mange scene Ainsley was setting up.  As I looked closer my heart stopped as I realized what she had done.  Every shepherd, every wise man, and every animal was looking the same way and all had their attention turned to something inside that stable. 

And as I peered inside the stable, I saw it was the little baby Jesus was capturing every one's attention. 

Who told her to set it up this way?  Who told her to turn every figure's attention to what was inside that stable?  How did she know that it was the little baby that everyone was coming to adore that cold night in Bethlehem?  But she knows.  In her little three year old heart, she knows this baby is special and is to be adored.  She understands that He deserves all of our attention, our focus, and our praise!  And that is what she was doing! 

  

Over the last few weeks, this thought has crept into my head as the "Christmas Clutter" rages war on my house.  These images in my mind remind me to stop and focus my attention on the little baby who deserves all my praise and worship and adoration this Christmas.  I need to turn my attention to Him and simply come and adore Him. 

Seriously... Again...

So it's been almost a year since I've set this blog up. I've written posts in my head, and I've even taken pictures to put up on my blog... but it stays quiet. Why???

I'm a perfectionist and I want it "just right"... I don't have time to really do this, and do it well, so why start if I can't give it the time it needs... I feel "computer dumb" when it comes to doing this blog stuff and I really have no clue what I'm doing...

BUT...

I want to remember these days. I want to journal what is going on and capture these moments that make up my life. I want to record somewhere what we are doing, where we are going, and what's on my heart. So I'm going to try and do this blog thing... because the life God has given to me is just too precious to not capture and remember.

Struggling...

Struggling to be a "new parent" today. Trying to disciple and lead... trying to be the mom God wants me to be...

But feeling like everything is against me. Feeling like there is conflict and anger and disrespect coming from every corner... out of every little mouth that can speak.

Trying to find the balance between love and discipline... between joy and correction.... is there even a balance? Is there even a separation? Should there be?

Feeling at a loss at what to do and trying to turn to Jesus.

Finding comfort in these words...

Christ at the end of the cross can upend whole worlds... and everything lands aright.

Feeling like my world is upended.... but being thankful that when it lands... everything (with God's grace) will be aright.

Our bigger family...

What a joy and blessing it is to see pictures of our new (and bigger family)! It's crazy to look at the pictures and think that we are a family of five now. It humbles my heart to see how God has blessed us and given us so much in our children. Love it, Love them!

Beautiful Day

What an amazing day! After being cooped up for WAY TOO LONG we have spent the last hour outside playing! I can SMELL SPRING and envision summer days ahead. What a blessing to this heart and soul!

Seriously....

You know... this whole blog thing is a little intimidating. AND..... I've realized something about myself... I'm more of a perfectionist than I thought. I think a main reason I don't want to blog is because my whole blog "set up" doesn't seem right to me.... and I can't enjoy blogging until it is "right"! *sigh* Do you ever just annoy yourself?

One good thing I've found.... there is spell check! And for that... I am beyond grateful!