Happy 1/2 Birthday Ainsley

For a few years now, we have been celebrating 1/2 birthdays in our home.  I'm not quite sure how it all started... it may have started with the fact that I loved my half birthday growing up (although we never celebrated it) and was always excited when December 15th came around.  Saying that extra "and a half" on the end of your age was a very big deal when you're young.  It may have also come along when Liam was young, and I wanted to have another special day on the calendar just to celebrate him... and no matter what is going on, you always have time to celebrate a birthday. 

Either way, celebrating half birthdays in our home has become a tradition and a fun thing we all look forward to.  We keep it simple... Singing "Happy Half Birthday" a few times during the special day... making the child's favorite supper, enjoying a half of a birthday cake, and allowing them to open one small gift.  It's amazing what sparkle these little things add to just another regular day!

But... my plans were all thrown off when Kallan decided to be five days overdue and was born on Ainsley's half birthday.  Therefore making Ainsley's birthday his half birthday and his birthday Ainsley's half birthday.  Could it be any more confusing? :)

So to work around all of these new plans... I decided that February 4th would be Ainsley's "new" half birthday... or at least when we celebrated it.  Now this date is no ordinary day, it definitely is a special day on our calendar.  For this is the day when my precious, little girl changed from this....

                                                                                        to this...



We used to call it, "Smile Day", because it is when she received her new smile.... but now we will also be celebrating her and the life God has chosen to bless her with.  There are already questions and tears from her sweet, little heart about her lip, and why she was born with a cleft, and when is it going to be "all gone"?  Questions and issues that this mama thought I had awhile before I'd have to answer.... and thinking when I did, that I'd have more wisdom to do so.  But I'm trusting in the fact that God started us on this journey for His purposes and His plan... and He will continue to walk with us through it... in the good and hard times.

So what is my princess like at age three and a half?  Well.... a princess!  :) 

Ainsley, you are a precious, little girl and you are the pink in my days.  You love dresses and pretty shoes.  You love to say the words, "beautiful" and "gorgeous".  You love bows, sparkles, headbands, and mirrors.  You love purses and filling them with treasures.  You love to color, play with play dough, and add stickers to everything.  You love dolls, babies, and princess Barbies.  You love to have pretend picnics and tea parties.  You still love your bunny and blankie to bits and sleep with them every night.  You are so into dance and being a ballerina right now... and that's all you want to do.  You have perfected your bows, twirls, and pointing your toes.  You love to talk about God and sing songs to him.  You love to read books, especially if you "know the words" as well as have book read to you.  You have the sweetest smile and a caring heart.  I love you so much little girl!  I'm so thankful that you are my little princess! 

So Happy, Happy Half Birthday my sweet Ainsley girl!  We are beyond blessed that God placed you in our lives and I'm so grateful to be called your mama!  I love you!

 

           Ainsley 

             Lyn

           Hodges

   February 4, 2011

        Age: 3 1/2

Peach Cream Pie

My Grandma Gloystein made the best Peach Cream Pie.  It was her signature pie that she was known by.  I grew up eating it and loving it.  I don't make it often, but the other night I happen to make one just because.  The kids really liked it, and it was neat for me to be able to tell them about their Great Grandma Gloystein and why she was special. 

I loved my Grandma Gloystein.  I had always felt close to her growing up, and looking back, it is probably because we were (and I still am) very similar to each other.  She was on the shy and quiet side.  She didn't like to be in the spot light and social situations made her nervous.  She struggled with anxiety and what other people thought of her.  She was crafty and enjoyed being creative.  She was a peacemaker, a perfectionist, and was so many times unsure of herself.

I was special because after having three boys of her own, I was her first grandchild, and I became the pink in her life.  It made us have a special relationship, and I loved her.

Eight years ago, she was very sick.  She had valves in her heart replaced, but she was really never able to recover from that.  She needed oxygen.  She needed to be taken care of.  Her heart was just so weak.  By May she was put on hospice because there was nothing more doctors could do to help her heart.  I made out verse cards and sent them to her hoping to encourage her.  I got updates from my mom and was thankful that she seemed to be doing well.

I will never forget the afternoon I came home from teaching preschool and knew that I needed to go see her.  I'll call it a God whisper.  And out of all the days, it was the worst timing.  I had a preschool field trip the next day and those days were always crazy.  It was almost the end of the school year and I had so much to finish before the last day of school arrived...  I was already staying up late at night just to get things done.  But God was whispering in my heart to go see my grandma, and so I did.

I sat on the floor by her lazy boy and we chatted.  I watched her eat her supper of peaches and yogurt.  We talked about the house Tim and I were building and I told her that I wanted to have a yellow gingham kitchen.  She smiled and told me that her first kitchen was yellow gingham.  We talked about my busy day coming up and the field trip we were going on.  She showed me the cardboard stand that grandpa had made for her to tape all her verses on that I had sent to her... so she could just sit and look at them.  I could tell her heart was thankful.  It was getting late, and it was time for me to go, so I gave her a big hug, and told her that I loved her, and she said it back to me which was something she didn't do often.

The next morning as I was heading out the door to school, I got a call from my mom... my grandma had died.  All I could remember thinking was that I had gotten to say good bye... and that I was so thankful that I had listened to what God was laying on my heart the day before...

As I finished up my slice of pie, I was thinking about all the times God has laid something on my heart and I don't do anything.  I'm too busy, I'll do it later, I'm too scared, I'll impose, I don't want to be a bother...  but what joys, what moments, what pieces of life am I missing out on by not listening to those whispers?  In what ways are others not being encouraged in the Lord by my lack of confidence and boldness?

My slice of pie reminded me to not only listen, but to act... to have attentive ears to hear that still, small voice of God... and have the courage and take the time to follow through.     

Giving Thanks...

*listening to my baby sing himself to sleep in my arms
*celebrating half birthdays
*a cake that took her breath away... "Oh Mama.... It's Beautiful!!!!"
*sunshine that makes the snow sparkle
*6 baskets of unfolded laundry
*bright orange playdough being sculpted by a creative, little boy
*cleaning up his own playdough mess
*new games
*laughing so hard I was in tears

Come...

My heart has heard You say,

"Come and talk with Me."

And my heart responds,

"Lord, I am coming."

Psalm 27:8 NLT

Fighting...

But Moses told the people, "Don't be afraid.  Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today... The Lord Himself will fight for you.  Just stay calm."  Exodus 13:13-14

So many times I am afraid.  Anxiety overwhelms my heart and the days of my life feel fearful.  The Egyptians had a good reason to be afraid, and so do I (sometimes...).  But, God called to them and said, "Do NOT be afraid.  Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today."  Today... right now... not tomorrow... not next week... God was going to fight for them and show His glory to them in a mighty way right then.

"The Lord is a warrior, Yahweh is His name."  Exodus 15:3 

He wants to fight for me... and He wants me to fight too.  Against fear and anxiety, against feeling overwhelmed, against failure, against lies and doubt, against throwing my hands up in defeat.  With His Word as my sword, I need to stand up and fight with Him.  This life is worth it...

And then I will be able to stand and say, "The LORD is my STRENGTH and my SONG!  He has given me victory.  He is my God and I will praise Him!"  Exodus 15:2

Day by day... moment by moment... The Lord is my strength and my song... I will not be afraid... I will have victory!

Kallan at 11 Months

11 things I love about you at 11 months...

1. Your smile can light up a room in a second... and your

    double dimples can melt my heart in an instant

2. You are always happy... you love laughing when others

     laugh... and you have a fake laugh that just cracks

     me up

3. You say "I love you" by tilting your head all the way to

    one side and smiling

4. You can say mama, and ma, and mama, and mama...

5. You have a "fast crawl" that is just too fun to watch

    (especially if you know you are in trouble)

6. You love to be standing whenever you can... and even

    better if you can stand and bounce

7. You are getting into EVERYTHING (OK - I don't love

    this) but I see your curiosity and need to explore and

    that is what is sweet to me

8. You think it is the best when I lay on the floor and you can climb all over me and pull yourself up on

    me... I can see the delight in your eyes

9. You are my blankie baby! Your brother and sister had bunnies and pacis... and you, my boy, LOVE

    your blankie!

10. You have that sweet baby skin and the soft baby hair that I just love to sink myself into

11. You are a joy in my life and have captured my heart in so many ways... I'm so thankful to God that

      He let me be your mama!

Thoughs from Psalm 23

The LORD is my Shepherd,

I HAVE ALL THAT I NEED...

He lets me rest... when life just makes me weary, when this mama has no more to give.

He renews my strength... with His love, His Word, His presence, His strength.

He guides me... when I don't know what to do, when my heart feels lost,

 when I'm wandering, when I want to give up.

He takes away my fears... He is the only One to calm my anxious heart,

when waves of fear overcome me, His Word helps me breathe again.

He protects and comforts me... He guards my life, He understands every tear that falls...

even when I don't, He longs to be my Abba Father, and hold me close to Himself.

He honors me and my cup overflows with blessings...

my life, family, friends, small joys, big blessings, lessons learned, faithfulness, renewed grace every day.

His unfailing love pursues me... when I have failed Him, when my heart wanders on its own,

when I forget Him, He is unfailing and continues after me.

The LORD is my Shepherd,

I HAVE ALL THAT I NEED.



Amazed...

Today I needed to run to Wal-mart, so since Tim was home, I just took Liam with me.  He helped push the cart around the store, and was a great helper when picking out items and loading up the cart.  We had to wait a SUPER long time in the check out lane (have I said I'm not super impressed with the Gretna Wal-mart yet?) but while we waited, we had two different people comment on how well behaved Liam was. 

I don't say those words in pride, and I don't say them lightly.  If anyone knows me, Liam, or the last year of our life, they are maybe slightly aware of the daily (some times hourly) struggles that we have had.  There have been days of sobbing, exasperation, and feelings of failure... me asking God why He thought I could raise a little boy like Liam, and using every amount of strength not to just totally give up. 

But God is working in our lives... He's working on my little boy's heart... and He's working on mine.  May I continue to trust Him when I want to give up.  May I continue to lean on Him when I don't know what the answers are.  May I be reminded that there is hope when I feel so hopeless.  God has big plans for the sweet boy He gave to me... and I'm so thankful!
 

Oh Come Let Us Adore Him...

So I'm very anti anything Christmas until after Thanksgiving is over, but since Ainsley had been begging me to find baby Jesus, I decided finding the manger set wouldn't be bad.  Besides, what mama doesn't let her child play with baby Jesus when she asks?

As I was busy going here there throughout our house trying to get things done before Kallan woke up, I stopped and froze as my eye caught a glimpse of the mange scene Ainsley was setting up.  As I looked closer my heart stopped as I realized what she had done.  Every shepherd, every wise man, and every animal was looking the same way and all had their attention turned to something inside that stable. 

And as I peered inside the stable, I saw it was the little baby Jesus was capturing every one's attention. 

Who told her to set it up this way?  Who told her to turn every figure's attention to what was inside that stable?  How did she know that it was the little baby that everyone was coming to adore that cold night in Bethlehem?  But she knows.  In her little three year old heart, she knows this baby is special and is to be adored.  She understands that He deserves all of our attention, our focus, and our praise!  And that is what she was doing! 

  

Over the last few weeks, this thought has crept into my head as the "Christmas Clutter" rages war on my house.  These images in my mind remind me to stop and focus my attention on the little baby who deserves all my praise and worship and adoration this Christmas.  I need to turn my attention to Him and simply come and adore Him. 

Seriously... Again...

So it's been almost a year since I've set this blog up. I've written posts in my head, and I've even taken pictures to put up on my blog... but it stays quiet. Why???

I'm a perfectionist and I want it "just right"... I don't have time to really do this, and do it well, so why start if I can't give it the time it needs... I feel "computer dumb" when it comes to doing this blog stuff and I really have no clue what I'm doing...

BUT...

I want to remember these days. I want to journal what is going on and capture these moments that make up my life. I want to record somewhere what we are doing, where we are going, and what's on my heart. So I'm going to try and do this blog thing... because the life God has given to me is just too precious to not capture and remember.