Our Summer Moments

We've had a busy two weeks between doctor apointments, events on our calendar, VBS, and everything else that goes with life!  I'm so sad that I feel like I'm just starting to get the feel of real summer days, and now I have to turn my calendar to July already.  Seriously?!?!?  I'm a little bitter about that!  Trying to find a balance between my calendar, my to do list, and just embracing and enjoying the moments.  Until I get that figured out, here's what we've been up to...

Watching Liam's baseball games...

photo curitosy of Ainslely

 and playing with neighbors.

Making Big Bubbles...

Little Bubbles...

and saving Mama from the bubble Monster with his mighty sword!

Running a 5K in the rain for all the little campers I love so much...

being more wet and more cold than I've been in a LONG time, but smiling through it all because

He gives greater joy!

Enjoying seeing my parents come to walk the mile...

And celebrating with my big boy when he got 2nd place in the mile run!

(You should have seen Tim's and my jaw drop in shock when they said his name!)  Go Liam!

Thinking through school curriculum for next year, calculating our hours, and filling out paper work for the state... isn't it supposed to be summer time?

Seeing a boy and his dad go camping....

And having a great time with some very fun friends!

Pulling out stitches...

(yes, as of last night, mama has officially pulled out two stitches)  Only three left to wiggle out! 

Who knew something so small could create so much stress, tears, and frustration! 

And smiling about it!

Making forts with blankets, having a movie afternoon with neighbors...

and making simple banana bread.

Enjoying our moments... enjoying our days...

Thank you Lord for summer and all the fun it brings!

Puffy Paint

We needed to have some fun around here, as well as find a little structure to our day, so why not do a craft project!?!?

I saw this idea in Family Fun magazine, and I was very sceptical that it would really work... but after a morning of painting fun, and waiting to see what creation would come out of the microwave (yes... I did say microwave!) this was a sure hit, and we will be making these 3-D paintings again soon!

To make the paint:
For each color you want to make, combine 1 Tablespoon flour, 1 Tablespoon salt, 1 teaspoon baking powder, and 2 Tablespoons water.  (I used the 5 T ratio, and it made plenty of paint to make 6 colors) Stir well and separate the mixture into small containers,  Use food coloring to color the paint and stir until smooth. 

For best results, mix the paint just before you use it.  Apply the paint to a sturdy sheet of card stock using brushes.  When finished with a picture, place the piece of paper in the microwave for 20 to 30 seconds to dry and puff the paint.

It is super fun and really amazing to see what comes out of the microwave!  The kids had a blast and it was fun to see the smiles all around!

Check out these creations!

And my little guy got in on the action too... just with less messy paint!

Ainsley... one week later

It feels like it has been way longer than one week!  Is that good or bad?  I don't know.

Ainsley has recovered really well from her surgery last Monday.  The first few days she was all over the place emotionally.... and kind of just a mess.  She felt pretty good (physically) but whether it was some post-stress stuff, or anesthesia effects on her body, or something else... her emotions were ALL over the place!  We spent the days watching lots of movies, coloring, and playing Barbies (of course!) We tried to do anything we could to avoid meltdowns and keep our days happy!


Friday... Day 5 Post Op

On Friday we went to get her stitches taken out, and this was not as successful as it was supposed to be.  She was scared, she didn't want to hold still, and the stitches she has in are super tiny and hard to get out.  It was a pretty traumatic experience for all of us.  Needless to say, we left the office an hour later with all the knots cut, three stitches completely out, and 10 stitch pieces still left in her lip.  We were told to wait the weekend to see if any wiggled out on their own and come back on Monday.

Sunday was the first day I felt like Ainsley was her happy self.  She just seemed to perk up, be able to handle life a little better, and I could tell she just felt better.  We did lots of "practice time" with her laying still and me putting the tweezers to her lips (but not doing anything).  I was trying everything I could to help her not be scared and to make our appointment on Monday go better.

Sunday... Day 7  All Smiles!

Thankfully by the time she got up on Monday morning, two of the stitches had wiggled out.  But we still had a few to go!  I went to her appointment loaded with candy, brought her bunny and blankie with her, and felt like maybe we had a chance.  :)  Um... no.  We ended up getting two or three pieces out... but there are still at least 6 blue stitch pieces in her lip.  We worked on her for about 45 minutes (and I say "we" because it took a team of four people, including me, to help hold her down.)  It was so hard, so sad, and so frustrating.  It is one of those mama things you do that totally crushes your heart, but you do it to your child because you know it's what is best for them... even if they don't understand.  Thankfully she was never upset with me for being part of the holding team.  I think she was more relieved to have me right by her face trying to encourage her than sitting on the side lines. 

Some of the stitch pieces are just too deep to really get at them... and at this point, they told me, it is not worth trying to get at them.  They told me they should eventually work their way out.  I'm not sure how I feel about all of this, but for now I'm trusting that they know what they are doing... and I'm trusting Him who knows all things and is still in control.  It is hard... really hard, but I'm trying.

My sweet girl waiting at the doctor's office before all the drama...

So we go back in a week to check up on the stitches and see how things are going.  Until then, some warm wash cloths on her stitches during the day and maybe a wiggle dance here or there to get these little pieces out!  :)

Would you pray for Ainsley?
Pray that these stitch pieces come out on their own...
Pray that they don't leave excess scaring or get infected in any way...
Pray that these "hold down" sessions don't traumatize my sweet girl...
Pray that my trust in God's plan continues to increase... and that I can let go instead of holding tight...
Pray for the incision to heal wonderfully and beautifully...

Praising God that this is all in His hands... He knows... and I don't need to understand why He does what He does.  Just trust.  

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day...

To the one who is called Dada, Daddy, Dad, Papa...

To the one who reads Bible stories at night and sings lullabies to little ones...

To the one who mows our grass, takes out the trash, helps do the dishes, and folds laundry...

To the one who gives the best couch snuggles ever...

To the one who works so hard to provide for our family in so many ways...

To the one who grills us yummy food to eat and is the best french toast maker, smoothie blender, and pineapple cutter in our family...

To the one who buys our groceries and keeps our cars full of gas...

To the one who makes it so fun to watch the Royals and cheer on the Huskers...

To the one who takes care of our family and supports our mama in so many ways...

To the one who reads His Bible so he can be the daddy God wants him to be...

To the one who is all of these things and so many more...

To the one we love so much because he is our daddy...

Happy Father's Day! 

We Love you!

A Beautiful Reminder

Ainsley and I received the most amazing flower from my sweet friend on Monday.  It's an orchid... and I've never had an orchid before.  What I've noticed about orchids this week is that they are stunningly beautiful.  It will catch my eye as I walk though the room, and I have to stop and admire it once again.  They look extremely delicate, and when you look closely at it... they are breathtakingly intricate.  Only God's mighty hand could weave together a creation like this. 

As it has sat on our table this week, this flower did more than just make my heart smile and my mind marvel at God's creation.  It was a beautiful reminder of God's intense love for me. 

And my mind was drawn to His love letter to me....

"And why do you worry about clothes?  See how the lilies (or orchids) of the field grow. 
They do not labor or spin. 
Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 
If that is how God clothes the grass of the field,
which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire,
will He not much more clothe You, O you of little faith?" 

Matthew 6:28-30

I look at this flower and hear Him say in His Word, I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU!

I'm reminded that just as He clothes the flower with His splendor and takes care of it, He will so much more take care of me.  My faith may be weak, but His love and desire to care for me is strong in little things and big things in my life.  And whatever is on my heart and mind today, I know He will so much more clothe me, love me, hold me, and take care of me as well.

Ainsley's Surgery

Yesterday was a day full of a peace that only comes from God along with showers of His faithfulness to us over and over again.  There is really no other way to describe it.  At one point I kind of laughed at how laid back I felt and wondered if I should even be a bit more "nervous".  Again... only God.

I didn't let my mind wander, but continued to replay the words, "I trust You!" over and over again in my head.  I even had to giggle at God when during Ainsley's surgery, I opened up to read one of the little devotionals I'm going through.  I was a day behind, so these were the two "notes from God" I had to read for yesterday...

REST IN ME, My child.  Give your mind a break from planning and trying to anticipate what will happen.  Pray continually, asking My Spirit to take charge of the details of this day.  Remember that you are on a journey with Me.  When you try to peer into the future and plan for every possibility, you ignore your constant Companion who sustains you moment by moment...

TRUST ME and don't be afraid, for I am your Strength and Song.  Do not let fear dissipate your energy.  Instead, invest your energy in trusting Me and singing My Song.  The battle for control of your mind is fierce... and you need to be vigilant in guarding your thoughts, and I will use this to draw you closer to Me. 

God is good.  He is faithful, and He walked with us through each step of yesterday!  He is our Strength and our Song!  Our hearts trust in Him alone!  Here are a few pictures from our adventure yesterday.

We were all smiles at 6:30 in the morning... heading to the hospital.  Praising God that Ainsley woke up on her own that morning, and she was very peaceful.  She knew what we were going to do, but was ready to go.

Hanging out with daddy!  She was pretty tickled that she got to wear Loony Tune Jammies... they were exactly the same pattern that she wore for her first surgery. (We have been looking at lots of pictures from then to get ready for today...)  Thank you God for Loony Tune jammies!

The hospital had lots of fun things for us to do while we waited.  The highlight... a fuzzy poster that we were able to color together.

Her child life specialist was great and did a wonderful job preparing her for everything that would happen that morning.  I had to smile as she was talking to Ainsley because at one point in my life that is what I wanted to do... but I didn't continue on that path because I didn't want to have to live by a big city to be able to get a job.  ~smile~

All smiles as she was ready to go back to the operating room.  I'll thank the "happy drugs" for that.  But what a complete blessing to have her totally calm as they wheeled her away, and for the peace of God to be covering us all during that moment.  God is so faithful in even small moments like these. 

She was not happy when she got back and cried quite a bit.  She just wanted to go home.  But we had some good snuggles and seeing her new "Swimming Barbie" calmed her down for awhile.

Thankfully we didn't have to stay for a long time after the surgery, because she just wanted to go home.  She kept telling us that all the way home and even as we pulled into the driveway and was in our garage, she told us she wanted to go home.  Bless her sweet heart!

She took a nice two hour nap when we got home and then watched a movie after that.  After getting a little food in her tummy, she perked up a little.  She was very serious the whole day and didn't say much... but I could tell she was feeling a little better.

We did some painting...

And mama even dug out her old Barbie swimming pool for grandma and Ainsley to enjoy a little swimming Barbie action.   

By bedtime she was acting a little more like the Ainsley I know.  She even gave me a little smirk as I was getting ready to tuck her into bed...

My precious girl!  She was so brave and strong today... I am humbled that God chose me to be her mama!  My great God!  His strength, peace, and faithfulness covered us, and I'm so thankful! 

Home!

Dear friends,
Thank you for all your prayers and encouraging words.  We are home from the hospital and on the "other side".  Ainsley was so brave and did great this morning.  She was pretty upset afterwards and just wanted to go home... but after a good nap and a little yogurt in her tummy, she is perking up and spending her afternoon watching a movie.  God is so good and gave us all an indescribable amount of peace this morning.  Praising Him for His Word that brings peace and His faithfulness to us today and always.  More updates and pictures of our day to come soon!
Jen 

Trusting the other plan...

I was supposed to be on the other side of this by now.  I had it all planned out and her surgery was supposed to be three weeks ago.  That way at this point, I would have come home from camp, and we could just cruise into summer with all worries and cares behind us.  But God had other plans.

You see a few weeks ago I wouldn't have been ready. A few weeks ago, I was overwhelmed with camp details to get done, I had just finished our school year, and was running at full speed. The thought of her surgery made me want to scream. The idea of someone taking my baby from me, taking a knife to her face, and changing it was almost more than I could bear. I remember thinking, "I just can't do this! Maybe I'll just grab her and run!" But at the same time, I also just wanted to get it done and behind us.  We have been "fighting" to have this surgery for almost 18 months now, and this was the time.

God had other plans.  He changed the date on me.  The May date I had prayed about and thought was "perfect" for our summer plans...  He changed it to the Monday after camp.  With fear and trust, I marked the date on my calendar.... June 11th.  Can I do this right after camp?  Can I pull it together physically, emotionally, and spiritually to be able to walk through this right after camp?  God knows me, and He knows my heart... He knows what is best for me, and His plan is perfect!

He knew that camp stretches me to my limit... and at times it is almost more than I can handle.  But at camp, He takes my hand and walks with me through each step of the week.  Leading me, letting me lean hard into Him... increasing my faith and trust with each step I take.  He knew that after a week of having to trust Him, feeling His presence surround me, and watching Him work right before my eyes... that walking into that hospital tomorrow would just be another step of faith... a continuation of the week I've just walked.

He knew that after a week of singing songs with the campers at the top of my lungs and shouting phrases like, "He's the One I can trust... my God will always be enough..." or "I'm fixing my eyes on You!", that my heart would be at the perfect place to lay my little girl into His hands and trust Him.. knowing He will be enough.

From the moment she was born, one of the first thoughts I had was, "The God who started us on this journey will walk with us through it.".  That thought has come to my mind many times over the last few years.  God chose this journey for us.  He is faithful and He has good plans. 
So as hard as it is to trust someone working on your baby's face and changing it... it is so easy for me to trust my God who is with us, who has planned this, and who is in control of each detail of our lives... even surgery dates.

I have a peace that surpasses all understanding.  A peace that only comes from trusting my Lord and my God.  A peace that has been increased after walking through a week of camp.  So tomorrow I will grip His hand tightly and trust Him.  He will keep me in perfect peace because of that.  It won't be easy, but as we sang today in church, my God will come through always.

Oh, my God, He will not delay
My refuge and strength always
I will not fear, His promise is true
My God will come through always, always

I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord
I lift my eyes up, my help comes from the Lord

If you think of us, please be praying for us tomorrow...

*For Ainsley to not be scared.  She is scared to have to leave me, and just has some fear of the whole thing (understandably!).  Please pray for a peace to cover her heart.
*For Tim and I... that our trust in God would be strong and that we would continue to walk with Him through each step of this journey.
*For Dr. B.... that his huge hands would skillfully be able to work his perfection in such a small and detailed area.  For God to give him wisdom and to guide him tomorrow as he works on Ainsley's face.
*For wisdom for us as to how to best take care of our little girl afterwards.  That she would be comfortable and not in pain.  That she would be protected from bumps and everything else as she begins to heal.

My God who started us on this journey will continue to walk with us through it.... I'm trusting His plan... Always.

 

camp.

If anyone has known me for awhile, they know that camp is a big part of my life.  Big as in needing many hours of my days each spring to get ready.  Big as in having to leave my children for a week each year.  Big as in coming face to face with hard stuff... stuff you hear about in the news, but it hits you a whole different way when there is a little face attached to it looking straight into your eyes. 

Camp to me is Royal Family Kids Camp.  It is a camp for abused and neglected children in the foster care system who are between the ages of seven and eleven.  It is a week where these kids get to come to camp and have a week just being a kid.  A place where they can feel safe.  A place where they are encouraged, loved, and treated royally.  A place where they can hear about Jesus... the One who will never leave them, the One who will never break His promises to them, the One who can give them HOPE and eternal life.

Camp is one of the hardest and best things I do.  It stretches me to places that are really uncomfortable.  It makes me take steps of faith, putting one foot in front of the other trusting that Jesus will be my solid foundation to walk on for each moment.  It wears me out mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually... but as someone said as we came home on Friday, it is one of the best feelings to be totally spent giving your all to Jesus.  I do this for Him.  I do this for the little ones who need Him...

I have so many thoughts about this week, and wanted to write a few down before my mushy brain forgets.  My words can not even begin to express what a week serving at this camp is like, but here are a few words I want to remember about my week at camp.

The precious faces of the campers.  I can close my eyes and see them.  The smiles and giggles... the laughter and tears.. the hurt and the anger.  Each one needing the love and hope that only Jesus can give.

A camper's jaw dropping when I told him the clock he was making would really work and tell time.

The talent show... campers showing so much courage to get up in front of everyone and show off their talent.  It was one of the best ever.  A little boy singing out a song with all his heart.  One of my sweet campers singing a song that means so much to her.  So much laughter, so much cheering, and moments that just make me want to smile.

Rubbing their backs at night to help them sleep and thinking about the fact that at some point they were taken away from their mama.  As I rub my hand over and over again in circles across their back, my mama's heart breaks as I can't imagine that scene and being a little child separated from my mama. 

Seeing the pure hurt and anger in a camper's eyes.  She is broken, and my heart hurts again.

Being able to look up at the shining stars at night, and see the vast expanse of His creation.  Leaning hard on the phrase that my dear friend told me a few years ago... and I remember... My God is BIGGER.  The One who made the stars and controls time and space is bigger than any situation in these camper's lives.  He loves them more than I know, and He's with them.  He has a plan for their life, He can turn brokenness into beauty.  It is how I can open my hands up to Him with peace in my heart, and easily give them over to Him.  He is Bigger.

Looking around during the Bible time and seeing every camper's eyes glued to the person sharing the Word with them.  I've been at camp a few years, and this is not entirely normal... but they were captivated by God and His word.
Seeing little girls dressed up in fancy dresses ready for the birthday party.  Seeing them feel like a princess.  Praying that they feel beautiful on the outside and that they know true beauty comes from within.

Hearing the story about one of the little boys who just loves the birthday party we throw for the campers each year.  For him, this is his birthday party because he hasn't ever had one thrown for him at home... maybe one year he had a cake he thought... but never a party to celebrate him... and the day he was born.  And I can't even imagine.

Having my three little campers ask question after question about God, and God giving me words to speak truth and life into their lives.  They were so hungry for answers and I wish I had one more day with them.  But God knows... His timing is perfect... and His truth plants seeds that can grow whether we have one more day or not.

And my sweet camper A.  This was my fourth year at camp with her.  God laid her on my heart after that first year together at camp, and I've been mentoring her throughout the years ever since.  She's had some hard times in life and at camp with bad attitudes, and melt downs, and bed time.... But God helped her have an AMAZING week at camp.  I can see her growing up and maturing right before my eyes... God is truly working in her heart, and I was so proud of her this week.

I could go on and on with moments that captured my heart this last week... It truly was a wonderful and blessed week!  One last thing... 

As I was all packed up and leaving the camp on Friday, I ran into the person who helps to run the RFKC for the Hastings area.  They also run the camp ground where we stay each year, and after nine years of being at camp, she is always such an encouragement to me, as she has done Royal Family for over 20 years.  She shared a story with me that was the exclamation point to my week at camp.  A few weeks ago, she was setting up a booth for their Hastings camp at a ministry fair.  As she was at her booth, a young man in his late twenties came up and told her he went to this camp.  She figured he was mistaken, but as they began to talk, they realized that he was at the first Royal Family camp they had.  He was seven... and he came for two years.  They continued talking, and he told her about his life... and how it had been rough.  Lots of ups and downs... in and out of foster homes... and even some time spend in the regional center.  But he was engaged now and things were looking good.  As he went to leave he looked at her and said, "You know... those two times at camp are the best memories I have of my childhood."             
Wow. That is one of the reasons you will find me each year serving at camp.  This camp changes lives and blesses these hurt and broken children.  There is nothing like a week at Royal Family Kids Camp.  Nothing.  For me... or for the campers.  It is so hard. It is so good.  It is all God!

        
   

Ainsley's Dance Recital 2012

For our family who was not able to make it... here's a tape of Ainsley's rehersal. Enjoy seeing your sweet, little dancer up on stage!

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
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